I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
