who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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