he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
