I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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