I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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