If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
