since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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