Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
