can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize