Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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