why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They took my balls.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
