bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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