is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
