I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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