so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize