Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
