So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
that's an acceptable place to lick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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