Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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