i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
