So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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