And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
