I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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