Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
