okay pat passed out under dana's car
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize