Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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