So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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