some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize