Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
