If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize