Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
