My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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