Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
