Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
