He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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