Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
