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So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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