would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
