I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
