My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize