Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
