We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
