Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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