I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
