Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
