so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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