I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
