i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
