Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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