I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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