Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
