I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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