k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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