I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
