i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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